Keep Going thru 2020

I am not naturally an anxious or worrisome person by nature, yet I find myself very concerned these days and it’s us that I worry the most. I’m not going to launch into what a horrible year we’ve had or how many changes and challenges we’ve all faced. No one needs this reminder, do we? It comes to us daily through homeschooling our children, trying to create alone time from those around us or through our never ending thought of “how safe is it for me to…”. It is a lesson that we all have learned this year.

My worry grows and feasters around our current state of survival mode. Don’t get me wrong, survival mode isn’t a “bad” thing, it helps us get through challenging moments and that, my friend, is good. It gives us that shot of adrenaline, that energy boost, that spurs us forward at the exact moment when we are thinking “I can’t take one more step”. Survival mode is most definitely good, but it is not sustainable.

I keep hearing comments about how things will be better on January 1, 2021 because it’s a new year — a clean slate — and, honestly, I think we are setting ourselves up for failure. A passed boss once told me never to hand a colleague a knife. It took my a few years to really appreciate what he was trying to say but I eventually understood: don’t set each other up for failure and that’s what it feels like we are doing to each other when we claim that day one of 2021 is going to be amazing.

2021 is going to be amazing and change will most definitely happen. Afterall, change is the only constant in life. But here’s the thing: this great shift will take time and will not happen with the flip of the calendar page. So, my gift to you this holiday season and in the days that follow is what I’m going to fondly call my “Keep Going” thoughts to point us in the right direction while we work towards ”amazing”.

1) Give yourself permission to have hard days and lazy days. Surviving can be a fulltime job these days so allowing yourself to have a break can do your mental state wonders.

2) Do one seemingly selfish thing a day — yes, a selfish thing. This might be 2 minutes to daydream about the massive dinner party you’ll host after all this has passed, maybe it’s that tantalizing bubble bath that you tease you’re going to take (and never do), or sitting down to read a trashy novel or drinking a (extra) glass of wine. It doesn’t matter what just allow yourself to do one small thing a day for yourself — simply because you can.

3) Smile at people you see or pass on the street. Yes, I realize that they may not be able to see that gorgeous smile of your’s but you will know you’ve smiled and that just feels good. Smile — and then smile again.

4) Do kindness. This is a regular thought of mine: lead with kindness, show kindness, think kindness (it’s not hard I promise you). Write a short note to a neighbor (even if you don’t know that neighbor), send a text message to a friend letting them know how awesome you think they are, wave at someone you are driving passed (yes, they’ll be confused but I betcha they wave at someone else before the day is over) 😊. Kindness…. share this gift as often as possible.

5) Everyday (mornings are wonderous as it sets the intention for your day), take 5 minutes to write down all the many things you are grateful for. The fuzzy socks that keep your feet warm, the laughter of your children, the quietness of your home, the roof over your head. Practice the intention of gratitude and more will follow.

Don’t forget about the strength you’ve discovered you have from this passed year’s lessons. You can get through more days like this not because they’re fun but because you have the tools to do so. One step at a time, one moment at a time, one bite at a time. May you and yours have a wonderful holiday season no matter how you celebrate and may it be filled with love, kindness and laughter.



Sheila is a certified professional coach and owner of The Elephant Motif.

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Sheila Weir

Sheila is a certified professional coach and owner of The Elephant Motif.