My Son wants to be a Porn Star

My son told me today that he wants to be a porn star. And if you’re a parent, you can imagine the feeling of shock that took hold of me. A porn star? Why on earth would you want to be a porn star? And after a bit of hemming and hawing, he admitted the reason for this brilliant (insert eye roll) idea: he wants to have sex.

Ahhhhh…. Of course.

You see my son has Asperger’s and although many kids at 17 are actively pursuing their first relationships and starting to figure out the mystery of the opposite sex, my son is not there yet. He desperately wants to have a relationship but his Asperger’s makes fitting in socially challenging, especially with the opposite sex.

Now let me be perfectly clear: I do not want my child to be a porn star. I have no idea how I would announce that to his grandparents or his uncle. That just would not fly in my family. But at the same time, I didn’t freak out when he said it. I wasn’t expecting it, true, but I didn’t fly off the handle and for me, that is an accomplishment. I knew that if I told him “no”, his ODD would kick in and he would make it his life mission to become the best porn star ever (he’s very focused that way), so I did the only thing I could think of in the moment.

“A porn star, huh?”

“Yes, I think I’d like to be a porn star.”

“Alright, well have you considered what you’re going to do when you get a sexually transmitted disease? A career having sex with multiple partners on a regular basis will bring risks and you need to plan for those risks. Like STDs.”

[insert blank, stunned look on my teenager’s face]

Needless to say he had not planned for it so I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity his lack of an answer provided and offered to take our conversation to the world wide web to research STDs. Off we went to investigate chlamydia, HIV, gonorrhea, syphilis, warts and the all time favourite: crabs. And knowing my son’s love for visuals rather than wasting his precious time with reading the written word, we went straight to the image section! Image one, image two, three….wait for it….. horrified look crossing teenage son’s face…. and there it is…..! Thanks Google!

I wonder what he’s gonna think up next week?